It’s hockey season, folks! An exciting time to be an Edmonton Oilers fan with the best player in the world in the lineup. Even more thrilling than seeing Star Wars a couple of years ago- er, I mean 47 years ago.

If you haven’t heard of me, I’m Chaz Horton, the new 92-year-old writer at DFO Edmonton. I’m actually 45 years old, but I was in suspended animation for 47 years; it’s a long story. I’m still getting used to living in the future and just found out you can’t hunt in Hawryluk Park.

The future has greeted me in some strange ways. I was rocking out to ‘Dance the Night Away’ the other day when a sketchy squirrel invaded my trailer. There was a furious fight, with the squirrel getting pelted with marshmallows and me getting bitten. My dog Sue chased that rodent all the way to the High Level Bridge.

Each day I’m feeling more and more like I’m in a never-ending episode of The Rockford Files. Instead of being Jim Rockford, bachelor private eye living by the ocean, I’m a time-travelling sports writer living by the North Saskatchewan. Typing my stories on this laptop thing has been a challenge though, as I don’t have ladyfingers. C’mon, can’t they make these things bigger? I miss typewriters already, and I never thought I’d say that. By the way, have you seen this Internet? There’s some shady stuff on there.

I’ve decided to name my Trans Am “the Dragon”. It’s been a blast driving it around and exploring Edmonton. I dropped by the DFO Edmonton office and showed off my wheels. A lot of the staff still have questions about the cryo-freezing experience. Some of them said I should watch Avatar and a bunch of other Sci-Fi movies. I have so much to catch up on.

Went to the rink on Tuesday to watch the Oilers’ first game against the Vancouver Canucks. The Oilers were playing two in a row against their Pacific division rivals. I had a long talk with Hunter the mascot about the league expanding to thirty-two teams. Somebody got carried away! Who goes to watch in California and Florida? Those aren’t really hockey hotbeds; I mean, have they even seen the Stanley Cup before? The California Seals franchise didn’t exactly work out well. I asked one of the other writers if there are enough good players for thirty-two teams; he said nope. So, it’s a good thing the NHL has put expansion plans on pause. I wish my dad bod would put its expansion plans on pause.

The Oilers’ new goal song is ‘Striking Oil’ by a local band called Royal Tusk. It’s not ZZ Top or Motorhead, but it might grow on me. And I have to ask, what was going on with the high-vis vests that night? It looked like we were all part of a maritime disaster movie.

Back to the game itself, which was an actual disaster. The Oilers dropped a 6-5 overtime decision to the lowly Canucks. Although I’m still happy I haven’t got to experience the soccer shootout. But I still miss ties. For the first two periods, the boys looked pretty good. But the third wasn’t good enough, and they were lucky to pick up a point. At least Bouchard put up a hat trick and two assists in a historic performance. The speed of the game continues to blow me away; players in the late 70s didn’t skate like this. Connor McDavid, Mathieu Joseph, and Alex Formenton are like rockets out there. The only rocketman I heard about in the 70s was Elton John.

After the game, I joined some local media at a bar called the Loose Moose run by a couple of engineers named Steve and Joel. The bouncer is an Elk, and the password is “there’s a monster in the pipes Harry”. Inside we found women dressed in buffalo costumes, giant donairs stuffed into those high-vis vests, and a half dozen cowboy robots. By the way, what’s a craft brew? It’s some kind of hippie thing, right?

One thing that hasn’t changed was card games on the plane to Vancouver for the rematch. Just over the Rockies, we heard the starting lineup from Bob Stauffer. None of the media could believe it. We thought it was bad when the Oilers didn’t have Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, Matt Savoie, Jason Dickinson, and Frederik Andersen for the first game. Then we found out Zach Hyman was also out. What’s going on with the injuries? Is this normal in 2026?

After checking in at the hotel, I could have taken the bus to the arena with the media. Instead, I hopped on the SkyTrain and travelled with the fans. It’s a lie, though; there’s no sky visible in cloudy Vancouver. They should have called it the ‘Rain Train’. I arrived at the rink and proceeded to knock a man dressed as a killer whale into a vat of popcorn. He was incensed, and a couple of Girl Scouts had to calm the mammal down. Two visits to the B.C. capital, and each time a brawl has almost broken out.

Then I learnt how much NHL players are making these days. You’re kidding me, right? However, that shock paled in comparison to what took place on the ice. What was that? Usually, if you’re spanking a team 8-2, you can lock it down. For the second game in a row, the Oilers team defence was missing in action. Neither goalie looks great at this point, and the third one is out until December. This team can score though, even with half of their top 9 injured. The 9-7 win over the Canucks gives the Oilers 3 out of 4 points after the first two games. Just like the coaching team drew it up.

The flight back to Alberta was chaos. Everyone was out of their seats, chatting and consuming copious amounts of coffee. None of the media could stop talking about what they’d seen. I tell you, if this is the kind of excitement the current NHL offers, I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Stay groovy, Oil Country.

The Unfrozen series

Unfrozen Part 2: Chaz Horton joins the Oilers on the road

Unfrozen after 47 years: Ace sports writer brought back in Oilers’ time of need

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